Stoke Ferry & District Ladies Group


Report of the Stoke Ferry Ladies gathering on the 7th December, when 19 members met at The Jolly Brewers for a Christmas meal.
No official minutes were taken and it was agreed to take the minutes of the November meeting as read.
Everyone then enjoyed the meal of their choice with all the trimmings & the staff were thanked by Mrs Gillian Smith.
Mrs Hazel Hearne presented gifts to the officers to show appreciation of their work during the year & birthday posies given to 3 members.
Mrs Armsby reminded everyone of the January rotas :-
Teas Anita Horgen & Gypsie Duncan
Door & Raffle Valerie Kirchen & Heather Durrance
Anita & Heather also agreed to share the 4 posies for January
Mrs Armsby reminded members to each bring a wrapped raffle prize for January and concluded by wishing everyone a Very Happy Christmas.
The gathering broke up at 9.30pm.



As mentioned in previous articles, Management and I are undertaking a “soft Feltxit” from Feltwell to Hagley in Worcestershire. After a torrid summer, it became apparent that we now need our kids far more than they need us and we took the decision to move near to four of them. We have bought a house in Hagley and have started moving stuff to the new house in dribs and drabs in between trips to the hospital for ongoing hip problems. Being a new property, it will look after itself while we sell “The Old House” in Feltwell. Also, each of the the four kids, Alyson, Calum, Grant and Charlotte, who live nearby, has a key so they can check the house from time to time. I issued
the usual warning about not having any parties in our absence; this prompted the reply that, if they did sneak into the new house, it would be for an early night, certainly not a party!
Those of you who spend nights away from home, staying with family or friends, will be familiar with the following scenario. You go into the shower without your reading glasses and look for the shampoo. All the bottles are similar – pale pink plastic with pale pink writing, dark green plastic with dark green writing, and so on. Impossible to tell what is what so you leave the shower and fetch your specs. It turns out that all the potential bottles of shampoo are, in fact, hair conditioner and the other one is a body wash which will have to double as a shampoo. Of course, all showers have different controls but they all share one feature – the first 30 seconds of water will be cold, so do not stand inside the shower cubicle while you try to work out the controls – do it from outside and only step into the cubicle after the flow is of a suitable temperature (and the bathroom floor is really wet). Finish your shower and the towel rail is on the other side of the bathroom. No choice but to launch yourself into the comparatively cold bathroom and drip across the room to collect your towel. Dry yourself and the environment. Exhausted, you wonder if there is time for a quick lie down before breakfast.

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Who needs Government?


We had a lovely Coffee Morning in All Saints Church Wretton on the 13th December. About two dozen folk popping in for mince pies, mulled wine and lots of other goodies – I was so glad I’d had no time for breakfast!
Mind you it didn’t bode well when I first got there: I had forgotten the saucepan to warm the Mulled Wine so poor Helaine had to pop home to get one, luckily she lives close to the church. Then the decaf coffee was missing – back she went to pick up hers. Then she said ‘ We are having a raffle aren’t’ we?’. Raffle? Did we agree to have a raffle? Yes we did, I knew, as a lady opening the church door announced to all and sundry, ‘who wants the raffle prize I’ve brought along?’ ‘ Off Helaine went again to hurriedly grab some raffle tickets. Luckily, we had lots of goodies for prizes and all was not lost – except perhaps my memory! Thank you Helaine you saved the day.
During the ensuing conversations, accompanied by Carols and Christmas songs I happened to mumble that I had no idea what I was going to write in the Pump for January’s edition. Usually by now inspiration pops in but despite a few sleepless nights – nothing! And then WHAM!!! Dear Hilary announces – ‘ Write about our Coffee Morning. So, you have heard of the start and this is what happened later:
A few of us got into a discussion about 2016. The general consensus was a roller coaster of terror, war, dying children and all the other horrors of the last 12 months. We then moved on to the unexpected – us coming out of the EU, a bloke with a strange blonde hair do and strange ideas of running one of the biggest countries/ economies in the world . Hold on, someone said, we’ve got a bloke with a strange blonde hair do too and whilst he may not be quite so dangerous as the USA version he certainly can come out with some outlandish remarks. We do not ordinarily discuss politics in church but that morning we really went to town and by the time 12 o’clock came round the world had been put to rights, a couple of blonde chaps had lost their jobs and love and peace reigned all over the world – just as God had always intended. Who needs Government – all you need is a coffee morning.
Despite all that, I have to say that there are some amazing people out there doing their bit to make this world of ours a better place. So, in 2017 lets all make a pledge to each other and push the ARK out:
It costs nothing, shines light in dark places and does something marvellous to the giver.
Carol Nicholas-Letch
(Aided and abetted by Hilary)