River Wissey Lovell Fuller

Tales from the past

August 2015

A day or so ago a friend of mine told me he had been in conversation with a man I knew and thinking of this man reminded me of another man I knew and not just this other man but more interestingly his Wife. It was many years ago and I found myself calling at the house where this wife lived, I found her husband was away at work but the dear lady was, it was a very hot day, sun bathing in her back garden, in her bikini. Now this dear lady, should we for brevity sake call her Miss Jones, but being married I suppose I should say Mrs Jones, but being an avid admirer of that TV series, Rising Damp, I will stay with Miss Jones. This dear lady, and here I suppose I should apologise for my uncomplimentary comment, but I have to say she was not, in my view, top of the list when good looks were given out. However to compensate for that she had, again in my view, a figure many a lady would have been envious of. I was able to obtain confirmation of this as I had plenty of opportunity to observe the dear lady when she informed me that over the weekend she had spent a considerable amount of time decorating her bathroom, and more to the point she insisted on showing me the results of her endeavours. I found myself in her bathroom, I was wearing a suit and tie, normal attire for the business I was in, hence my visit, Miss Jones, as I have indicated, wasn’t wearing a suit and tie, but a bikini, and the longer I spent in her bathroom the higher the temperature rose, now whether this was due to atmospheric conditions or the demure appearance of Miss Jones is open to question. On reflecting on the this past experience I have often ask myself what would have been the implications if I had succumbed to what I will tentative call, ‘Human Nature’ and made ‘Advances’ in Miss Jones direction. Would my ‘deliberations’ have been interrupted by the arrival of the Vicar, the Electric Meter Reader, God knows who, dear I even mention the dear ladies Husband, fortunately pressure of business demanded I move on to my next appointment, which I was able to do, still with all my clothes on, in spite of the weather, and other Distractions. Les Lawrence Methwold


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