River Wissey Lovell Fuller


August 2008

Les passes on a story told by Ronnie Corbett

In the July issue our Editor started his Editorial thus: "welcome to yet another fun packed edition of" and for a moment I thought I was watching The Two Ronnies, which as it happens is just what I have been doing. All of this is just an excuse to pass on to you a story told by little Ronnie Corbett sitting in his chair, it goes like this.

Old Tom had been a Member of his Golf Club for many years and he made a request that when he passed away his ashes should be placed in ajar in a prominent position in the Club House. This came to pass but after a time the lid on the jar became separated and some Members started to use the jar as an ash tray. This came to the attention of the Club Secretary who was heard to observe, "when old Tom was alive he was as thin as a rake now he's been dead for more than two years he's started to put on weight" Boom Boom.

Moving on to what is partly a true story. The other day I visited my local Surgery where I was examined by a most charming Lady Doctor, (that's a true bit.). Prior to making her diagnosis she ask me to strip to the waist, which I did, her response was to say rather agitatedly," I meant take your shirt off' (for those of you not blessed with a sense of humour this really is quality stuff, you can bet on it, but if I were you not too much).

I was not very pleased when she diagnosed Gout,(that's also a true bit) and I quickly told the Charming One that Gout only afflicted the elderly to which she retorted, "you are elderly". With steam coming out of my ears, (quite an achievement when you think about it) I soon told Her that physically I may well be 78 but I had got a mental age of 27. Her reply to that was "well ok then physically you have got the Gout and mentally you have got the Mumps". With that I left the Surgery convinced I should have joined BUPA.

Moving on to something entirely different the other day I was shopping in Audi's in Brandon when I came across a sight to gladden the heart of someone like me. I came face to face with two young men both were impeccably dressed, suits, shirt and tie, yes definitely ties, this appalling habit we now see so much of on TV, not wearing ties, if only they knew what they looked like.

I felt compelled to congratulate them on their appearance, which I did, and in our little discussion I discovered one was the Store Manager, the other the Area Manager, and what a credit both men were not just to themselves but to the Company they worked for, to say nothing of their families.

I have long held the view that if you work on a farm or a building site well you dress according, but when the working day is over give me the person who takes a little interest in themselves, because if you can't take an interest in yourself why should anyone else.

Les Lawrence, Methwold

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