River Wissey Lovell Fuller


June 2005

Some fun derived from a seried of boks by Rich Hall, an American comedian


I discovered Sniglets last week, by accident, in a Thetford cafe. My Request for a copy of the book (written by the American comedian Rich Hall) at WH Smith was met with blank looks and a check on the computer revealed that it was long out of print. A search of the internet revealed about 4 books in the series, all out of print, but available from specialist suppliers. I was so taken with Sniglets that I thought it would be nice to share them with Pump readers. In the original books, Rich Hall invited readers to construct their own Sniglets; perhaps Pump readers could come up with some? How about Pumpless - the state of being without a Village Pump because you failed to submit a subscription form!

A Sniglet is a word that does not appear in the dictionary, but should!

Accordianted (ah kor' de on ay tid) - adj. Being able to drive and fold a road map at the same time.

Airdirt (ayr' dirt) - n. A hanging plant that's been ignored for three weeks or more.

Aquadextrous (a qwa dex truss) - adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub taps on and off with your toes.

Backspackle (bak' spak uhl) - n. Markings on the back of one's shirt from riding a bike without a mudguard.

Baldage (Bald' aj) - n. The accumulation of hair in the drain after showering.

Bixplex (biks' pleks) - n. Oschological block in which a person cannot chose which colour of disposable lighter to purchase.

Carcreak - n. Those crackling, tinkling, creaky noises your car makes after you park and turn it off.

Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a piece of string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one

more chance.

Charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found in every bag.

Darf (darf) - n. The least attractive side of a Christmas tree that ends up facing the wall.

Deoderend - n The last 1/2 inch of stick deodorant that won't turn up out of the tube, and thus cannot be used without inducing lacerations.

Digitus (dij ih tree' us) - n. Deposits found between the links of a watch strap.

Doork (dawrk) - n. A person who always pushes on a door marked "pull" or vice versa.

Ray Thompson

Copyright remains with independent content providers where specified, including but not limited to Village Pump contributors. All rights reserved.