Sporting Wit (albeit sometimes unconscious wit)
Some sporting humour for your delight
Billiards is very similar to snooker, except there are only three balls and no one watches it.
I considered filing a missing persons report on Leighton James In the second half.
I made a two fingered gesture towards the fans to show that I had scored twice. It must have been misinterpreted.
I became a great runner because if you are a kid in Leeds and your name is Sebastian you've got to become a great runner.
I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
Not only is he ambidextrous but he can through the ball with either hand.
And now, as the evening ears on, the shadows cast by the floodlights get longer.
We need the players because without the players we wouldn't have a team.
The spirit at Sheffield United is the worst I have ever known, and the tea isn't much better either.
Watching Manchester City is probably the best laxative you can take.
I don't have any pre-match superstitions but I always have my packet of chocolate buttons.
I got some girl's pants through the post the other day, but I didn't like them; well, they didn't fit, to be honest.
Patrick Tambay's hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now.
I have just named the team I would like to represent Wales in the next world cup - Brazil.
Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.
We don't need referees in basketball, but it gives the white guys something to do.