More silly signs and notices (all true)

Some more amusing signs and notices

Stylist wanted: Good pay and fringe benefits, excellent growth potential. Notice in a hairdresser's window

Open 24 hours except 2am 'till 8am Sign in pizza parlour

Baby show: All entries to be handed in at the gate Notice at garden fete

Waitresses required for breakfast Seen in a cafe window

No children aloud Notice outside a very exclusive boutique

Customers who find our waiting staff rude, should see the manager

Seen in a restaurant

Try our local butter - no one can touch it In a grocer's window

Our motto: We promise you the lowest process and workmanship Seen on a board outside a furniture shop

Wanted: Man to take care of a cow that does not smoke or drink

Sign at a farm gate

For rent: Six room hated apartment Advert in shop window

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. Notice in a dress shop window

From Graham Forster