River Wissey Lovell Fuller

Political Chicanery

January 2005

A cautionary tale

While walking down the street one day a top politician was tragically hit by a lorry and died. His soul arrived in heaven and was met by St. Peter. "Welcome to heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there's a problem. We were not expecting you, so we're not sure what to do with you. It has been decided that you spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"But I want to be in heaven," said the politician.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors opened and he found himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance was a club and standing in front of it were all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone was very happy. They ran to greet him, and to shake his hand, and to reminisce about the good times they had had while getting rich at expense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dined on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present was Satan, who was friendly, dancing and telling jokes. Before he realized it, it was time to go. Everyone gave him a hearty farewell and waved while the elevator rose; when he arrived in heaven St. Peter was waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

24 hours passed with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They had a good time. After 24 hours St. Peter returned,

"Well, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The politician thought for a minute, then answered: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." So St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and he went down, down, down to hell.

The doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, shackled together, picking up excrement and rubbish, and putting it in black bags.

Satan came over to him and put his arm around him.

"I don't understand," stammered the politician. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

Satan looked at him, smiled and said,

"Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted!

Ray Thompson

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