More Sporting Humour!
Its the way you tell'em
Water polo is terribly dangerous. I had two horses drowned under me!
What a game! The referee was wearing glasses over his contact lenses.
In the opening twenty minutes at Murrayfield, Portugal bought more dummies than a nurse on a maternity ward.
Even though I've retired from boxing, I still go to the gym to spar every day. I miss being hit on the head.
Our shot-putters are in better condition than Gazza.
Do my eyes deceive me or is Senna's car sounding a bit rough?
I was watching Germany and I got up to make a cp of tea. I bumped into the telly and Klinsman fell over.
Football is football; if that weren't the case, it wouldn't be the game it is.
It was grand playing for Nottingham Forest. Brian Clough told me just to go out, get the ball, and give it to my Nigel.
It's a pleasure to be standing up here. In fact it's a pleasure to be standing up.
They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were already taken.
Boxing is just show business with blood.
I used to go missing a lot; Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World.
If we played like that every week we wouldn't be inconsistent.
I remember when Steve Davis used to take Valium as a stimulant.
So the concussed Stan Collymore doesn't know who he is. Tell him he's Pele and put him back on.
Cricket is just organised loafing.
Paul Gascoigne is Tyneside's very own Renaissance man. A man capable of breaking both leg and wind at the same time.
When I lost the decathlon record I took it like a man. I cried for a week.
The Republic of Ireland have just one game plan. If Plan A fails, resort to Plan A.
Terry Venables has a choice of Gascoigne, Platt, Beardsley and Ince. Any of those would get into the Swiss side. I've got to pick between Sforza, Sforza and Sforza. I usually pick Sforza.