River Wissey Lovell Fuller

Life's Imponderables

January 2004

Kelley offers some lighthearted views of life in the fast lane

More of Life's Imponderables

Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic.'

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a cocoanut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is.

Kelley Badillo

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