A collection of apposite expressions for the 21st century
Verbal Profundities of the Famous!
Anything dropped in the bathroom falls into the toilet!
We weren't hoping fop a boy or a girl, we were just happy to take pot luck!
There were twenty kids in out family. You didn't dare put your tongue out or someone would stick a fork in it! Roy Brown
My aunt died at precisely 10.47 a.m. and the old grandfather clock stopped precisely at this moment also. It fell on her! Paul Merson
If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth! A.P. Herbert
On Love Sex & Marriage...
I have got small feet because nothing grows in the shade! Dolly Parton
One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. M.M. Musselman
PMS means never wanting to say you are sorry! Diana Jordan
Men are creatures with two legs and ten hands! Jayne Mansfield
The other night I said to my wife, "Do you think the excitement has gone out of our marriage?" She said, "I'll discuss it with you during the next commercial!"
Sex and death are two things that come once in a lifetime. Only after death you're not nauseous! Woody Allen
And on TV...
So they are going to show a man die on television; after Barry Norman, I don't think I could sit through it again! A.A. Gill
When I was presenting Cleudo on Television we had to turn over the studio audience in case they got bed sores! Chris Tarrant
The human race is faced with a cruel choice - work or daytime television!
For those of you watching who haven't got TV sets, live commentary is on Radio 2!
I'm here to speak about Kirk Douglas's wit, his charm, his warmth, his talent - at last, a real acting job! Burt Lancaster