Wereham Sign Gary Trouton

It's A Funny Old World

October 2002

Les gets the urge to travel

It could be said, I suppose, that I'm a rather worried man. The other month I was rambling on about whether or not our Village Pump knew where it was going. At the time of writing I'm not sure if I knew where I was going, let alone know when I would get there. I don't seem to remember the last time I had an intelligent conversation with anyone. I seem to deliberately talk rubbish because that seems to be on a par with what people are talking to me about.

I recently had a bit of a check up with my Doctor and it appears that considering my age I'm not too bad. Well I don't agree with that; there is a heck of a lot wrong with me. In fact I think I should be locked up, put away, who knows put down maybe. Or could it be everyone else who have got all the problems?

If we consider holidays, for example, well I never go away; everyone else does and they find utopia every time. If you do go on holiday it seems you must put a fair distance between where you live and your holiday destination. You can't, for example, live in Wereham and then go on holiday to Cromer; no one wants to go to Cromer if you live in Wereham. Now if you live in Devon then Cromer is just the place for you. You have to travel some 300 or 400 miles to get there. You see I think Cromer should be banned and in fact all holiday destinations should be. It seems that arriving there is not the point; it's the travelling what appeals. I get the impression that it must be great fun to get in a car and drive hundreds of miles on our over crowded roads, with the kids being sick in the back. How about a few hours waiting around at some airport then 9 or 10 hours struck up there in a plane? No, I have this strange feeling I haven't started to live yet. Next summer I will get my act together. I'll go to Africa. Why Africa? Well it's abroad isn't it? You are not stupid enough to suggest Cromer are you? Why is it you just don't worry about what the neighbours will think?

A thought has occurred to me. Why don't I emigrate to Africa? Then when I want to go on holiday I can go abroad. One country that would appeal to me is England, especially East Anglia, which is about 70 miles off the Dutch coast as the crow flies, or 140 miles if the silly old bird flies in the opposite direction. Yes it is funny, it's your sense of humour which is letting you down. What's so appealing about East Anglia? Well I could finish up on the North Norfolk coast and, would you believe it, Cromer. Which is a place I did mention before. You know I don't think you are paying attention, it's the travelling that counts, never mind what happens when you get there.

Les Lawrence

Copyright remains with independent content providers where specified, including but not limited to Village Pump contributors. All rights reserved.