Am I Normal?

Happy New Another Year

Being 72 and retired I shall stay in and watch 'Home and Away.' Miss Jones will have to go out on her own; still I will at least be thinking of her. Things have got to a stage now that, when I go to Chapel every Sunday morning, I got no problems with going to Chapel, I've got no problems with God. It's just this Sunday morning affair at l0 a.m. Good heavens look at the time it's nearly l0 a.m. I shall have to mosey, on down to the Chapel and have a word with God. Not 3 p.m. on Wednesday, or 7-30 a.m. on Monday. No! It's l0 a.m. sharp on Sunday. What on earth God thinks to all of this I don't know. Does He say at 9-55 a.m., "Les will be in touch shortly!" Who knows?

No I sometimes wonder if this world of ours is too much for me. Cheer yourself up, I hear you say; compare yourself with those unlucky people who are in Hospital. Then you will stop yourself from being so miserable. But there we go again; we have got it all wrong. I don't want to be compared with those in Hospital; I want to be compared with David Beckham, The Spice Girls, and Prince Charles, even Tony Blair. Carry on at this rate and we shall hear those immortal words, which I've heard a million times, 'Money isn't everything'. I heard that when I first got married, you know when you hadn't two pennies to rub together. Not feeling too good, never mind you could feel worse. Well I've got news for you; I could feel a damn sight better.

I use to know a man who, just before he sold his car, would put the clock back so it appeared that the car was younger than it was. Well I think I'll do the same, from now on I'm only about 18... OK Gloria, I will be with you in a minute I'm just watching the end of Eastenders. How I wish I were 72 so I wasn't pestered by all of these women; I could sit back and be bored to tears. And why has our Gloria got her Father with her? And do you know what - she's pushing a pram! On reflection, no I just don't want to grow young anymore, you can't beat being old and bored.

Les Lawrence