River Wissey Lovell Fuller

A Thief's Dilemma

September 2001

A steal?

It was really easy pickings,A handbag in a trolley.He snatched it, grinned and scarpered,And checked it out for lolly.

There was a certain amount of cash,Some credit cards, a key;And almost overlooked,Two tickets for the lottery!

He took out what he wanted,Chucked the bag over the wallHe didn't have a conscience,He felt no guilt at all.

When it came around to SaturdayHe sat and watched his telly.It was Stars in Your Eyes,Hosted by Matthew Kelly.

He flicked the telly overJust in Time to see;The numbers drawn by MerlinFor the National Lottery!

He only got one numberAnd he began to curse,When he suddenly rememberedThe tickets in the purse.

He felt inside his pocketsChecked the numbers one by one.And shouted to his wife,Hey! I think we've blooming won!

On the other hand the lady,Whose purse it was he'd taken.Was left in such a state of shockThat she was badly shaken.

She had told the police the contents,The money, cards and key.But overlooked in anguishThe national lottery.

Her son had come to stay with herTo keep her companyAnd while he changed the front door lockShe got them both some tea.

She heard them call the numbersShe shouted to her son.Good gracious come and check dearI think that I have won!

She always did their birthdaysSo there wasn't any doubtGo and get the ticketsThe son began to shout.

Suddenly she rememberedExactly where they wereShe broke down and told himAnd he tried to comfort her.

He then picked up the telephoneAnd told the police the storyThe Sergeant took the detailsAnd said "Try not to worry!"

By now the thief had phonedExcited as could be.I've got the full six numbersThis weeks winner, mate, is me!

They asked his name and his addressThe winning numbers too.The answer came back loud and clearYou're right mate, it could be you.

But little did he realiseHe hadn't thought it through!But when you've got six numbersWhat else could you do?

They arranged the presentationThe date had all been set.A cheque for several millionWas what he was going to get.

There were a lot of peopleSome there from the press.He recognised one lady,But he didn't even guess.

She made her way towards himAnd suddenly it clicked.The cameras flashed, the police approachedAnd said, "Mate, You've been nicked!"

Pat Watts

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