River Wissey Lovell Fuller

The Percentages Have It

August 2001

90% of you should read this

This expression 'social intercourse' first came to my attention many years ago when we had a dispute at the Social Club at Methwold. Out came the rulebook when one or two of us so-called clever types were trying to prove that we were right and the Club Committee was wrong. I can't remember who won the argument but I can remember reading the first page of the rule book which stated that the object of the Club 'was to promote social intercourse among it's members'. Some of us members, who's eye sight wasn't as good as we thought, mistook the word 'social' for some other word and quickly decided we had indeed joined the right Club. I digress, back to the Supermarket.

If people did go there just for the shopping then I believe it wouldn't be long before more and more people got used to the idea of having their groceries delivered. Most Supermarkets, if you gave them a call, would deliver. No, most people would miss their little chat with who ever even if it doesn't add up to much. Now it's the same on Sundays when just a small number of people go regularly to Chapel or Church. At the risk of upsetting my religious friends, who may well think differently, take it from me it's 10% religion and 90% social intercourse. If more people were to accept that then it wouldn't be long before Chapel and Church attendances started to increase. And talking of increasing attendance another way to do that is to bring back the old Hymns. If I had my way you would have such as 'The Old Rugged Cross', every Sunday. The 'powers that be' know best and as a result you get just a handful of people there.

You can't escape this 10% and 90% business. It even applies to people going to Bingo; you don't go there to win money, if you stayed at home every time you would be financially better off. That is apart from one or two rather lucky one's who might have the big win. It's the same if you go to the seaside, 10% are in the sea and the other 90% are, either in their deck chairs asleep or, sitting there looking. It could be said what are they looking at? Well in my case it's the scenery, which normally takes the shape of the delectable Miss Jones whose interests I continually have in mind.

All of this reminds me of my Insurance days when I tried to sell someone a Policy and the old answer would come back 'I'll think about it'. Some 10% did just that and the other 90% didn't. If I go back to my much younger days, every time I tried to chat up a young lady the percentages got worse. Only about 1% took any notice, the other 99% didn't. But come to think of it, in those days I didn't have the good fortune to own a red jacket.

Les Lawrence

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