It's Not My Problem
I could be the most fortunate man in town but, in spite of my many problems, I don't and never have suffered from Stress. But it seems to me that just about everyone these days are effected by it. You read about in your newspapers, see it on TV. Everyone's at it. We are all stressed out of our minds, but not me.
Yes, I'm worried! I spend all of my time being worried. Every time I call and see our esteemed Editor of our Village Pump delivering my masterpieces, like what I have just written, I get worried. I have never met our Editor without seeing him with that certain look on his face; a look that tells me he is thinking, 'How can I get rid of this idiot and his stupid articles.' Yes, all of this leaves me worried, but not stressed.
I have talked in the past of my carrot digging days. There wasn't too much to smile about then but somehow I managed. Later on my work pattern changed and I became an Insurance Agent until the job description was changed to Financial Consultant; this in itself again worried me, as such was my education or lack of it that I was never able to work out the difference.
Even when it came to enjoying myself I was never able to. I was always worried. How envious I used to be of my many friends; just a minute let me get this straight, yes I have only got two friends now but I had loads of them years ago. Anyway these friends at the New Years Eve Dances always enjoyed themselves. At the chimes of Big Ben there they were kissing everyone wishing everybody a happy new year, but not me. I stood in the corner looking as miserable and as worried as usual and with good reason. The sound of Big Ben told me it was another new year the old one had gone and I knew what my Boss had already told me, 'Sell the same number of Insurance Policies as you did last year, PLUS 20% more'. Why was it that I had to have targets no one else did? I didn't pass my eleven plus but my Teacher wasn't sacked, and I have never heard of the Vicar being fired because hardly anyone went to Church.
Every time I saw my Boss and I mentioned that I thought I was improving as a Salesman he used to burst into tears. On one occasion he explained how easy it was to emigrate, even going so far as to offer to pay my fare, he was a kind and generous man, someone who like me who had his worries, but who again like me was never stressed.