Les sings you more of his thoughts
I have always considered that I have got a good singing voice and would have made it in the entertainment world if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m scared of singing in public. A lot of people I understand are the same as me but they apparently spend their time singing in the bath, which is something I never do. I find having a bath doesn’t make me want to sing. In fact, it rather depresses me; which was a matter I took up with my Doctor many years ago and as it so happened quite a charming Lady Doctor. She never did tell me what was wrong but it was while I was putting my clothes back on that she remarked that something too at that moment made her feel depressed so really she wasn’t much help.
The only place where I feel really at home singing is when I’m driving alone in my car. I don’t know if it’s the acoustics but I seem rather impressed with my voice then and the remarkable thing is it seems to change with the days. Some days I sound incredibly like Jim Reeves other days more like Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra. I must sound fairly good because it’s amazing how often I meet fellow motorists who, seeing me singing, you would be surprised how they react. It is obvious from their gesticulations that they are still ardent fans of the late great Sir Winston Churchill. Their actions indicate that if I keep at it, one day victory will be mine or at lleast I think that is what they are telling me.
Of course if I never do make it as a Vocalist then the question is what other qualities can I fall back on? I did put this question to a dear Lady I know; she didn’t answer she just dissolved into hopeless laughter. This question of what you are supposed to be good at, well some of the books I read tell me; oh by the way I read other books as well. Come to think of it, these books are a darn sight more interesting than the ones I’m really on about. You would be surprised some of the things some people get up to. Back to these other books which tell me that I should get a piece of paper draw a line down the middle on one side put down what I think I’m good at and the other side what I’m not. You can imagine the result. The side where I put down what I’m no good at I need another piece of paper; the other side is blank.
I’ve concluded that I am very good at one thing; being darn useless. Just to go back to these other books for a moment. I think they are a disgrace and should be banned. If you know of anyone who wants 47 of these sorts of books, let me know. I shall be pleased to get rid of them. How did I get them in the first place? It was all a misunderstanding. I really wanted such as ‘Mathematics for Beginners’ and ‘How to improve your English’; you know educational books. Then this young Lady came along and said,’ these books you want to get rid of they are educational? If you see, what I mean’.
Well I for one certainly didn’t know what she meant and what’s more I didn’t want to know and I most certainly didn’t want her to come back and see me when my Wife was out. Even if I did give her my phone number.